'I'm out': Wife Refuses to Help Parent Stepson After Learning of His Relationship With Her Overbearing Mother-In-Law

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 5, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

As much as I get along with my mother-in-law, and I honestly do get along with her, I will never agree to have her living in my home. It is simply a recipe for disaster, both for the relationship between the two women and for the relationship of the couple themselves. 

This is why it is actually not that surprising that the woman in this Reddit story has reached a breaking point because of her MIL (mother-in-law). For some reason, MIL has started living with OP (original poster), her husband, and their kids. That led to a seriously unhealthy relationship between OP's 7-year-old stepson and MIL, which went as far as the stepson sleeping in his grandmother's bed every night. OP tried putting her foot down and educating her stepson, but was met with resistance both from him and from her MIL. That until OP decided to simply give up and stop taking an active part in her stepson's parenting.

Keep scrolling to read the full story, including the husband's reaction. After that, click here for a lovely collection of Harry Potter memes for magical ladies.

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  • 01
    AITAH for telling my husband I'm not parenting my stepson anymore
    via u/kjripster30
  • 02
    My mother in law (55F) lives with me (30F), my husband (29M), and our three kids (SS7), my daughter (6), and our daughter (1). Some info, his mom is around but he only sees her maybe 2 days a month. All the kids needs and wants comes out of my paycheck.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 03
    The issue is my MIL has what I consider an unhealthy attachment to my SS. She's to the point where she's obsessed with him. He can do nothing wrong in her eyes. He sleeps in bed with every night even though he definitely has
    via u/kjripster30
  • 04
    his own bed. If I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do or she doesn't think he should do, she either does it for him or throws a fit saying he shouldn't have to.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 05
    The breaking point was last night when I told the kids to go to bed and specified they needed to go get in their own bed. My SS went and got in my MIL bed. I told him he needed to go get in his bed. He threw a fit
    via u/kjripster30
  • 06
    saying she said he could and she's screaming saying that he always sleeps with her. I ended up winning that argument but then I hear her talking to my husband saying "he's only slept in his bed one night this summer. He
    via u/kjripster30
  • 07
    always sleeps with me." Then I made the comment that he's going to sleep in his bed every night once school starts and she laughs and goes "no he's not." I was so angry at that point I just walked away.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 08
    Then I hear him in his bedroom saying that when I go to bed she'll come get him. He said that I'm going to get mad and she goes "I don't care!"
    via u/kjripster30
  • 09
    At that point I told my husband I'm not parenting him anymore. I'll still help with him but I'm not parenting. She can pay for and bring him to all his extra curriculars, she can get him up and bring him to school, she can
    via u/kjripster30
  • 10
    buy all his school clothes and supplies. If he wants to stay up till 5am, so be it. If he wants to eat nothing but microwave Ramen, I'm done fighting it.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 11
    My husband told me that SS is going to be the one to end up suffering for it and I responded with telling him that I can't take the constant walking on egg shells in my house and the stress so I'm washing my hands of this. So AITAH for saying I'm not parenting my SS?
    via u/kjripster30
  • 12
    • Own_Foundation_4634 3 days ago NTA. My question is though, while your SS is disobeying and fighting you and your MIL is undermining you, what is your husband doing in all of this? Why isn't he laying down the law with both his mother and his son.
    via u/Own_Foundation_4634
  • 13
    GremTrum 3 days ago Exactly! Husband needs to step up and set boundaries with his mom and son.
    via u/GremTrum
  • 14
    I_Not_Edward Snowden. 3 days ago Totally agree, his lack of involvement is making things worse for everyone.
    via u/I_Not_Edward Snowden
  • 15
    kjripster30 OP. 3 days ago My husband and MIL have had screaming matches over it, and things will get better for a week, then go right back to the way it was
    via u/kjripster30
  • 16
    henchwench89 · 3 days ago If that is the case your husband needs to give mil actual consequences for her behaviour. Talking to her doesn't work, screaming matches with her doesn't work. Maybe its time for
    via u/henchwench89
  • 17
    her to find somewhere else to live before stepson gets completely out of control with her enabling and encouraging his bad behaviour
    via u/henchwench89
  • 18
    Beth21286 3 days ago • I'd like to know how much MIL (at 55) contributes to the household.
    via u/Beth21286
  • 19
    kjripster30 OP. 2 days ago Not much. She pays the cable bill because that was the agreement since she HAD to have cable and she'll occasionally pay the water bill.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 20
    Beneficial_Breath232 3 days ago ΝΤΑ But why is your MIL living with you? And where is your husband when his mother interferes with your parental autority?
    via u/Beneficial_Breath232
  • 21
    The problem is not parenting the Stepson, the problem is your MIL and her weird enmeshement with her grandson (emotional , hello?), and her disregard for your authority in your own house.
    via u/Beneficial_Breath232
  • 22
    The solution for me is not no longer parenting your Stepson, it's kicking MIL out of the house, and don't let her have any contact with him for a loong time. Alternatively, send him live mainly with his mom to protect him from his way- too-involved-grandma.
    via u/Beneficial_Breath232
  • 23
    kjripster30 OP. 3 days ago I would love to kick her out, but she hasn't had a job in about 3 months, and from what I know, hasn't put effort into finding one, and she has nowhere else to go.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 24
    Beneficial_Breath232 3 days ago As long are you are not trying to kick her out, she will have no motivation to try to find a job. You need to put your foot down OP to protect your Stepson And you say you have a BIL. So she has an other son with who she can live until she find a job. Or friends around
    via u/Beneficial_Breath232
  • 25
    kjripster30 OP. 3 days ago My BIL won't let her live with them again.
    via u/kjripster30
  • 26
    DethBySnu-Snu · 3 days ago Why the are you just making excuses for your husband and his mom? HE needs to kick her the out. And if he doesn't, it means he's okay with her disrespecting you.
    via u/DethBySnu-Snu
  • 27
    You came here asking for help. People are trying to help you...but evidently you don't want to hear it. The way you're responding to people, it's like you don't actually want to help yourself. So why should anyone care to try helping you?
    via u/DethBySnu-Snu
  • 28
    kjripster30 OP. 2 days ago You're right. I am making excuses and it's not going to help anyone. I plan on having a sit down conversation with my husband tomorrow so I can get all my thoughts together.
    via u/kjripster30

Tags

family drama aita drama kids wife reddit story family feud parenting husband mother in law silly family grandparents Reddit parents children
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